Still Bitter After All These Years, Or How I Learned to Stop Caring About Brevity and Love Writing Verbose Headlines*

Did you participate in U.I.L. contests in Junior High or High School?

In Texas, the University Interscholastic League sponsored contests between schools covering a wide range of academic topics. In Junior High, I tied for 6th in a U.I.L. spelling contest. Unfortunately, the powers that be at that particular contest failed to notify me of the tie. I missed the ensuing spell-off, only to later find my test with “7th Place – Didn’t show up to tiebreaker” scrawled across the page. My little, proud, Junior High mind was crushed, not only at the fact that I wasn’t first place, but that I also didn’t even get the chance to compete to sustain my 6th place position.

So, years later, after stuffing my feelings by devouring as many words as I could, I attempted the journalistic competitions set forth by the U.I.L. It’s been far too many years since then, but I recall participating in Feature Writing and Headlines. I did so poorly in both of them that I can’t even recall my place in either competition. This may have been the beginning of a subtle aversion to the pursuit of writing as a legitimate means of self-sustainment.

Now, even more years later, writing (thankfully) is a part of my job. Learning to craft concise, creative, compelling copy (while attempting to avoid the adolescent allure of alliteration) is an art form I enjoy attempting to master. It’s a journey without a final destination, but if I can inch ever closer with each new day, each new writer I read, and each new voice that speaks wisdom into my life (and there are many of those at my current job and in my real-life circles), then I’ll consider it a day well-spent.

But headlines still cause me a tightening of the throat, a muddling of the mind, and a blankness of the brain. Consequently, I’m highly appreciative of posts like Matt Thompson’s 10 Questions to Help You Write Better Headlines.

While headlines have to convey much more information in a smaller amount of space versus your standard tweet or Facebook update, there are similarities to be found. The pressure of limited space leaves little room for error or vagueness, but carefully crafted content calls out for a memorable, clickable headline. As with your updates, so too with headlines. You want something that tells the truth, but begs for interaction.

Maybe the essence of any headline is this: How do you compress your meaning so that it’s an irrepressible invitation to interact?

So . . .

  • What inter-scholastic competitions did you compete in, and where did you place?
  • Or, what’s the best or worst headlines you’ve ever read?
  • Or, when you compose a tweet or Facebook update, do you linger over exactly what you want to say and how you want to say it so that someone will reply, click, or like the post?
*I’m not really that bitter any more, and I’m not allowed to write long headlines, unless it’s here on my own blog. However, I’ll still admit to adoring alliteration.

What Would Jesus Drink?

Vodka? Budweiser? Gin and Tonic? Guinness? Red wine?

Wrong answers, but the leading question is still appropriate.

Friend and author Brad Whittington recently released What Would Jesus Drink: What the Bible Really Says About Alcohol, a short work that looks at every line in the Bible that refers to wine or strong drink—all 247 of them (references, not types of drink).

With wine as such an integral part of first century life and oftentimes such a divisive issue among Christians today, a short treatise on what the Bible really says about drinking is long overdue. Brad was even kind enough to include the reference list at the end of the book, as well as a list of other works on the same topic from those who may disagree with his conclusions.

What are his conclusions? You’ll have to get the book to find out. The Kindle edition is currently only 99 cents too, so if you’re even remotely interested, the information far outweighs the cost.

Additionally, any book that’s able to pull an endorsement quote from A.J. Jacobs, author of The Year of Living Biblically: One Man’s Humble Quest to Follow the Bible as Literally as Possible, is worth reading in my book. (Year is a book you should read as well). Little known fact: Year quotes from Brad’s early material that eventually led to What Would Jesus Drink.

And, for what it’s worth, everyone knows that Jesus would drink Guinness because this book (and good taste) say so.

What are your thoughts on drinking and the Christian life?

My Top 10 Top 10 Lists of 2011

nuttakit / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Inspired by the Top 10 Worst End-of-the-Year Top 10 lists list that we posted at FaithVillage, here is my own Top 10 End-of-the-Year Top 10 lists list.

10. The Best Selling Video Games of 2011
Sadly, my absolute favorite of the year, Portal 2, was ranked #10. It’s one of the smartest games in existence. I’m playing through #8, L.A. Noire, during my Christmas break, and it’s a little unnerving to have more than a few actors from Mad Men (including the game’s lead actor) appear in the game.

9. Top 10 Words of the Year
As a writer, I felt like I had to include this, but the words this year are lame. I’ll save you the trouble: The word that was most looked up online in 2011 was “pragmatic.” Additionally, “‘austerity’ also made the top 10 list in 2011 along with ambivalence, insidious, didactic, diversity, capitalism, socialism, vitriol and ‘apres moi le deluge.’

8. Top 10 Most Bizzare Tech Stories of 2011
This list exists because someone failed to tell someone else that just because you can do something doesn’t necessarily mean that you should do something. A self-hugging vest? An internet-enabled kissing machine? An MC Hammer search engine? At least they all have this in common: They make me say, “What the what?”

7. Top 10 Gorgeous Gadgets of 2011
Function does not have to follow form. These gadgets remind us that useful tech doesn’t have to be just a metal box.

6. 10 Most Viewed YouTube Videos of 2011
#1 makes me weep for humanity. My favorite is #2, embedded below.

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My Top 10 TV Shows of 2011

The following list is comprised of the Top 10 TV shows I enjoyed watching this year. In other words, they aren’t all new shows.

10. American Dreams

My girlfriend coaxed me into watching this Dick Clark produced TV series set in the 60s, centered on Meg Pryor, a teenager chosen to be a featured dancer in American Bandstand. It aired on NBC starting in 2002. I was prepared to not like it, but after a few episodes I wanted to see each and every one of the Pryors achieve their dreams . . . which never seemed to happen, at least in the first season. The show is rather ingenious, incorporating vintage footage from American Bandstand with current pop singers like Usher and Vanessa Carlton doing their best 60s impersonations of famous performers from that era. Side note: The show also proves that Joey from Blossom can say more than just “Whoa!”

9. The Office

In its first three seasons, The Office would have definitely been in my top three shows. Sadly, as we all knew was going to happen but really hoped it wouldn’t, The Office has lost is unique comedic touch by having to let go of the most awkward boss this side of the Great Pond, Michael Scott. I still watch the show out of loyalty (much like I did with Smallville for far too long), but the laughs are few and far between. I love the Nard-Dog, but they really should have hired from outside the office. Maybe Ken Jeong? Or do a cross-over and have Ron Swanson from Parks and Rec (Nick Offerman) move into the boss’s seat.

8. Saturday Night Live

The hey-day of Saturday Night Live is always those first five years after you learn about the existence of Saturday Night Live. For me, that was the early to mid-90s. I still watch SNL, hoping that it gets better, waiting for them to feature Jay Pharoah more, and laughing uncontrollably every time Bill Hader breaks character as Stefon.


7. Parks & Recreation

I watched the first season and it didn’t take with me. I didn’t watch the second, but I’m falling for the third. They’ve distanced themselves from The Office and have created a place with a heart as big as Lil’ Sebastian’s, which may sound negative, but it’s not. Pawnee has become so real, in fact, that I wasn’t surprised when I ran across the book Pawnee: The Greatest Town in America in a local bookstore. Genius.

6. New Girl

I’ve only watched four episodes, but I’ve laughed out loud at least twice during each. This is a good measure of a great comedy, especially considering its nascent form. Zooey Deschanel is funny, even when it’s not Christmas and Will Ferrell in tights is trying to court her.

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My Top 10 Books of 2011

Earlier this year, I set a goal to read 20 books by year’s end. Due to a job change at the halfway mark of this year—a job where reviewing books was a small part of the job description—I was able to finish 22 books. As this was the first year I actually kept track of the ones I finished (with the help of GoodReads), I have no way to compare this number to any other years in my life, but at least it gives me a baseline for the years to come.

How many books did you read this year?

While I feel that a Top 10 books list is somewhat wanting when taken from a field of only 22, there are reads here that should definitely be included on your to-read list.

10. Never Let Me Go, Kazuo Ishiguro

I read Never Let Me Go as a result of 101books.net. It’s an interesting story from the perspective of a clone built solely for organ donations, but I didn’t see how or why it was included on Time‘s Top 100 list. Did I miss the deeper meaning? Or was I just put off by the writing style? I’m still not sure.

9. Quitter, Jon Acuff

Quitter arrived at an interesting point in my life. I had already done what Acuff says not to do—namely, quit your day job to pursue your dream job without having another job lined up, though I’d argue that circumstances dictated my particular route, and I didn’t quit to pursue my dream job, although that’s what eventually happened.

Fortunately, just as my savings were depleted, I was given the opportunity to write for a law firm. A good friend met Jon at a book signing and picked up the book for me (and had it signed). A few months later I actually landed my dream job and in some strange way, I’d been doing what Acuff recommends for years, i.e. working toward that goal by pursuing writing (or art or music or whatever it is that makes you think, “If only someone would pay me to do this, then I’d never work again.”) during my non-work time. If you’re in that spot where you’ve spent too much time doing things you only tolerate, Quitter may be the book to help you realistically dream about a better tomorrow.

8. Decision Points, George W. Bush

I wouldn’t call myself a particularly political person, but I had to read about some of the transformative world events that occurred over the last decade, especially from the vantage point of one who was in the absolute middle of it all. Decision Points was fascinating and caused my respect for any sitting President to increase all the more.

7. The Hunger Games / Catching Fire, Suzanne Collins

From time to time, I’m a latecomer to the newest craze, a slow runner trying to catch up to an overflowing bandwagon. I didn’t read the Harry Potter series until right before the last book was released. Both then and now, I’m glad to have hopped aboard, especially with the imminent release of the movies. The books are easy to read, engrossing enough, and have just the right amount of Ender’s Game kids-as-killers to be subversively enticing.

6. Sanctuary of the Soul: Journey into Meditative Prayer, Richard Foster

Ever since Celebration of Discipline, I’ve been a fan of Richard Foster’s engaging style and practical thoughts on spirituality. Sanctuary delves into the practice of meditative prayer, something I need to learn to incorporate into my own life instead of just replying @God with 140-character prayers. I reviewed Sanctuary of the Soul for FaithVillage.

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