Archive | Funny

A Lesson from America’s Funniest People

posted on January 29, 2005 in Christianity Funny Television // View Comments

I’m leafing through my archived documents, half-finished prose and poetry that, for the most part, never saw the light of day (only the light of my own computer screen). Part of me has given up on writing simply because I’m no longer an English major, but the other part of me hangs on for dear life, because I sincerely enjoy writing. I just need to learn how to make it profitable.

So here’s something old I wrote that was fairly recently composed (6 months ago or more), and something I also like:

It was a fleeting moment, a passing image, a bit of pop culture that broke through to show God’s love. It was America’s Funniest People, a rerun no less. We see a small boy singing in a chorus. It looks like a school performance. The boy sits, but jostles his chair and starts snapping his fingers. Above the din of the room and the fading applause, you can hear the boy loudly ask for his dad. “Dad! Dad! (snap snap) Dad! Dad!” In other words, possibly in the only words that children know, “Look at me! Give me all of your attention, completely undivided. Listen to me!”

When the boy has received his father’s attention, the child asks the question all of our religious charades ask in their unique ways – “How am I doin?” You don’t hear a reply from the father, but you can see the reaction of the child. Elation. Jumping out of his seat for joy. The child’s father told him what he only hoped to hear.

The father probably only gave his child a thumbs up. He might have even mouthed the word “Great.” But to the child that was all that was necessary. A simple assertion of doing good. A “yes” of approval to calm the seas of his doubt. “Am I ok by you Dad? I don’t care what these kids beside me think, I just want to know what you think of me. Am I making you proud?”

Awesome Anagrams

posted on December 03, 2004 in Funny Writing // View Comments

GEORGE BUSH: HE BUGS GORE

DORMITORY: DIRTY ROOM

EVANGELIST: EVIL’S AGENT

PRESBYTERIAN: BEST IN PRAYER

DESPERATION: A ROPE ENDS IT

THE MORSE CODE: HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES: CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY: IS NO AMITY

MOTHER-IN-LAW: WOMAN HITLER

SNOOZE ALARMS:ALAS! NO MORE Z”S

DECIMAL POINT: I’M A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO: TWELVE PLUS ONE

PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA: TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS

Love is…

posted on June 24, 2004 in Funny Quotes // View Comments

“Matt Groening:

‘Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.’”

Biblical Humor

posted on May 22, 2004 in Christianity Funny // View Comments

a funny joke (to me) found while browsing

“A guy came home and there was a post-it note stuck to his door that said, Rev 3:20, he looked that up and it of course said,’ Here I am! I stand at the door and knock.’

He then decides to respond by going to the persons door who had left the note for him and leaving a post-it that said only,
Gen.3:10…which says ‘I heard you in the garden,and I was afraid because I was naked;so I hid.’”