BlakeAtwood.com

Very funny book by sportswriter (and Leatherheads scribe) Rick Reilly who tries to answer that eternal question - what’s it like to be a caddy? With stories about looping for John Daly, David Duval, Donald Trump, a blind golfer, and others, Caddy is quite humorous, a little ribald, and wholly entertaining.

www.rickreillyonline.com

DirecTV (to which I happily subscribe) will have an interactive, multi-screen presentation of the Masters this year. How providential that this is the same year in which I was afforded the opportunity to go hi-def, widescreen, plasma, and large. I may need to take a 4-day weekend.

After all, it’ll be the start of Tiger’s Grand Slam year.

Why can’t more advertisers do this kind of thing? Crowne Plaza Hotels, host of the already played Colonial Invitational (PGA) tournament, has posted extra footage from “The Ultimate Golf Meeting,” featuring David Feherty, Dan Jenkins, Lee Trevino, Natalie Gulbis, George Lopez, and Alice Cooper (“We’re not worthy! We’re not worthy!”). The spots they’ve shown on TV are there, as well as 10 extra spots. Crowne Plaza now has more esteem in my small world because of this - maybe I’ll use them during my next vacation - multiple cruises with golf interspersed throughout…I wish. Some highlights:

“…that’s how I got the name Alice, not getting the ball there…”

“…I don’t think you should use a golf ball that will betray you…it’ll just betray you again.”

“…the Bible has 10 commandments. Golf has a 600 page book.”

Funny stuff, if you’re a golfer. Go watch it.

“Men amateurs would be better off watching them (LPGA players) for swing tips than the guys on the PGA tour. I said tips, GR, tips.”

On Fred Couples’ rare appearances: “Fred shed his second wife and has moved in with Jim Nantz. Since
apparently Jim is only doing three tournaments this year for CBS, he
and Fred want to spend as much time together as possible. The tabloid
press now refer to them as ‘Jimcup.’”

And, finally, why I can relate: “I was the kid in the back of the church who was always laughing
uncontrollably at the well-timed fart, you know? I can’t help it, it’s
in my DNA.”

More good stuff from the CBS golf commentator as he answers readers’ letters.

My family has apparently started a summer tradition of picking a concert at the Smirnoff Center in Dallas and all getting tickets. It began haphazardly last year with Chicago and Huey Lewis. You know, when the whole family goes (siblings, cousins, parents) you have to cater to all ages. Luckily, this year, and just this past weekend, we saw Ben Folds  and John Mayer. It was a good concert, not great, but good. Enjoyable at least. Ben Folds was a little more experimental than some of my family would have liked, and his cover of a Dr. Dre song was…interesting, to say the least. John Mayer’s a phenomenal guitar player, but should stick to playing, not talking. Too bad we couldn’t have all gotten Police tickets.

Possibly even more fun was the golf the next day at the Lake Park Golf Club in Lewisville. It’s a straight, short course, par 70, so I felt like I was doing a lot better than normal, which I was, at least for the front nine. I think I had 4 or 5 pars for the round, which is great for me. I also had the best shot of the day. I was two inches from the hole, a gimme, and I was goofing around, taking a large backswing with my putter and pretending I was going to launch the ball somewhere. I hit the top of the ball with the bottom of my putter, the ball spun high into the air, then dropped straight into the hole. I will never be able to do that again.

We ate at Babe’s that night, a restaurant in Sanger, TX. Great food, and the waitresses sing, and they’re actually good. Also, there’s a cutout of John Wayne that peers into the window of the women’s restroom. (I only know this because the Woman told me so - I don’t often visit women’s restrooms, what with their sofas and bathroom vanities). Going to Babe’s is almost as much a ritual as the family summer concerts are becoming.

It’s always interesting what kinds of rituals form as the newer generations grow up. To the loyal few, do you have family rituals?

Also, my grandmother made a point to say how much she appreciates the fact that our extended family gets along so well. It’s something I thought was absolutely normal growing up, but the older I get the more I realize how fortunate I am to have the family I have.

Our church held its 5th annual golf tournament yesterday. My team shot a collective 4 under using the Best Ball format. (Every person hits a shot, but only the best shot is used next). Not terrible, not great. We won third place in the second flight, good enough for a free round of golf.

On the other hand, the picture to the right is of one mad momma bird who was hovering next to a pond where, I heard, she’s protecting a newborn. So I can’t blame her, but she was pecking at every person that tried to get near the water. The lady with the golf club is 91 years old too! And still playing. Golf is one of the few games where you can get away with that.

I guess I’ll have to include a picture of myself. This one’s funny because it looks like I’m taking a full swing with my putter. It’s actually a post-swing swing of frustration. I had many a good putt that just didn’t quite make it, settling down only a few inches from the hole. Oh well, that’s the way life and golf often are…

The picture almost looks like I could use a Diet Trial, what with some of that flab hanging out in the front - but I think that’s just my shirt. I hope that’s just my shirt.

I went to the Edwin Watts Learning Center this morning for my first professional lesson. I’ve been playing for two years now, but had never had the opportunity (more like the money) to have a professional lesson. It was a good experience, as humbling as it was. It begins with a 14 minute video (produced in the 80s, although a reshoot is going to happen soon) that taught me about the necessity of keeping the club on a proper swing plane. After the video, you step into a hitting bay where you’re videotaped from behind as well as from the front. It’s a sad, sad sight to see yourself, as amateur a golfer as you can get, swing a golf club. You think you look ok, and then there’s video evidence to prove your misconceptions are just that - mistaken.

Fortunately, the pro told me my swing wasn’t all that bad for never having a pro lesson. My swing plane was actually quite good, but my body and the way I had to compensate for a poor setup and a poor rotation were readily apparent as he would draw lines on the television screen showing where my body should be, and my body would not be there. Unfortunately, I’ve become comfortable with the swing I’d developed on my own, so taking in a lot of new information was like learning how to swing for the first time. I forgot to add that they attach a laser to the butt of your club. Using the laser, you can see your swing plane, which should remain on a steady line parallel to the ball. It was a very helpful tool.

All that to say, I went out later to a driving range to put into practice what I had learned. Aside from having 1,800 thoughts in my mind as I was swinging, attempting to right all of my wrongs at once, I managed to hit at least three consistent shots to the exact point (and over a tree) that I’d intended using what I had been taught that morning. I then proceeded to play a few holes, only to get frustrated because my swing was somewhere in between what it was before and what I had just learned. It gave me a small inkling of the frustration Tiger must have gone through when he changed his swing a few years ago. Fortunately, I don’t play for money, so I’ve got plenty of time to learn how to swing. I was very happy to see immediate effects; now if I can only remain patient and thoughtful about my swing and constantly remind myself that it really is a fun game.

Added to all of this is the fact that my wife wants to start playing. She’s going to play in not one, but two, Chamber of Commerce tournaments in the next few weeks. We borrowed some women’s clubs, bought a cart bag and golf shoes for a great price, and, of course, bought pretty, colored golf balls. We have yet to get her on a course though. I fear she may become better than me very quickly. I have a bad swing to unlearn; she has to learn from the ground up, a much better position from which to create a good swing. Her anxiousness to play and my lesson today have only increased my desire to play more. It’s a humbling but enthralling game, and I’m addicted.

[brought to you by a Disney vacation home, probably close to many a good golf course]

At the Masters this year, we’ll finally see a golf fan’s dream matchup on Sunday, Tiger Woods vs. Phil Mickelson. They’ve both been playing well, and I don’t know if they’ve ever played together on a Sunday. It would be interesting to see if Phil would pull a U.S. Open meltdown like last year, knowing full well that the laser-like intensity of red-clad Sunday Tiger was boring holes into the back of his head with every swing. Then again, if there’s one thing we know about Phil, he’s surprising. It would be phenomenal if he could give Tiger a run for his money. (It’d have to be a long run, considering how much Tiger already has). I’m envisioning some kind of historic Masters Sunday. But I predict that Tiger wins by 3 strokes. Now if only I didn’t have to work on Sunday…
Oh, and if you’re a golf fan, go watch David Feherty’s take on the upcoming Masters.

[Tax day is fast approaching. I'm sure you could use Financial Reporting Software].

Please take a moment of silence in honor of the Streak. Tiger Woods lost a match today. He’d won the last 7 PGA tournaments he’d entered. He was attempting to beat Byron Nelson’s record of 11 straight victories, but even Tiger has said that Byron’s record was akin to Dimaggio’s 56 game hitting streak - a seemingly insurmountable record. Tiger came somewhat close. The kicker? He lost because he forgot to repair his own ball mark. He had a four foot putt, a gimme for Tiger, it hit his ball mark and veered offline, on the first playoff hole of a Match Play championship. I didn’t think he’d break the record (there are too many excellent players on the Tour) and he’s never done all that well in Match Play (anyone remember the Ryder Cup? Yeah, no on in the U.S. wants to). So take a moment, think about what he’s accomplished, then think about the fact that he’s only 31. He’s going to break a lot more records, but I don’t think the Streak will ever be one of them.

One of the things I admire about Tiger is that he’s on track to be the world’s first sports billionaire. And what does he do? He continues to play golf, to practice, to get better every day, despite the millions he makes on and off the course. He’s always hungry to win (meaning he must not take Phentermine?). No matter how many times he wins, he still wants more.

I wish I could find that thing in my life that would always leave me wanting to be better at it because I love doing it.

it’s pretty funny.