I’m not sure when it happened, but somewhere in the last few years I lost my love for playing music. I lost the thrill and the joy that comes from creating something entirely new from nothing, from stewing in a jam until it boils into something delicious.
Don’t get me wrong. I’ve played drums for worship services for a very long time now and have enjoyed it, but there’s something about playing other people’s music that stifles creativity. In other words, I don’t think I’d do well for the long haul in a cover band.
But it was a Coldplay concert about a month ago that kicked me in the face with reality. I can do that, I thought. And why not? What’s holding me back?
For the longest time I doubted myself, thinking I could never be good enough to play in a band, on the weekends, out in public, despite the words of praise received from others (to which I would just shake my head and think, You must not know any good drummers then). Then I recalled: I play for about 1500 people every week. I’ve played for almost 14 years. And if I weren’t getting the picture, a large swath of disparate musical friends started asking me, separately but all within the recent same time period, “We need to get together and play.”
And a spark lit an ember.
The possibility of making music, the re-engagement of that feeling I had when playing, the hope of making more of this gift… it made the future bright. And I find myself listening to music with a new appreciation, with a motivation to practice (which I’ve seldom had before), and with a certain amount of giddiness, like the first time I ever wailed on my first set.
A group of musicians (and friends) are hopefully getting together this Friday, simply to play music. No agenda. No purpose. Just fun. Just music. And we’re hoping to make a regular thing of it. (And if you want to join in, leave a comment). In thinking about who to invite, I realized I know a lot of good musicians. That has to mean something, right?
And other events are occurring that make me think I’m on the right path, things that might make that ember blaze. But that’s all I can say right now about that…
To close: Find an outlet for the thing that cries to be released from your heart, no matter if it’s part of your job or not. Paint if you have to paint. Write if you have to write. Take photos if you have take photos. Find your outlet. You have too little time left not to.
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